Hey, I Can Sing!

Can I just say that Karaoke is a blast!!!!  Saturday night, our first Saturday back in Tokyo, we went to our favorite Shabu Shabu place, Shabu Zen in Roppongi,  and then to Karaoke.   I had never done real karaoke before.   Living room karaoke doesn't count.  But since I suspect one of these days I'm going to be taken to a karaoke club, coerced to drink and then forced to sing, I wanted to see what the deal was all about so I can be semi-prepared for the public humiliation.  Russell has done it several times with both Korean and Japanese clients.  He already has a couple of signature songs.   I convinced him we should rent a private suite so we could humiliate ourselves in private.  We rented a private room at Shidax in Roponggi.  It's open till 5am.  I didn't think we would need that long so we just reserved the two hour humility package.

There was a wedding reception or post wedding reception going on in a large room on the ground floor.
I only know this because a wedding party guest, in a tuxedo no less,  came out and said something to me I could not understand and gestured for me to follow him, while I waited for Russell to reserve our room with the front desk.  I wish I knew what the guy said cause he was really cute.

The room we were given was really small and really high tech.   It had a black leather couch, a flat screen TV, several intimidating speakers dangling above us, a smoked glass coffee table and a great view of the main dori (street).     It's supposed to be for a party of six.   Six!  Translation - two fat Americans.  Only one of us could stand up and sing at a time.  The guy who brought us our drinks (Suntory and soda, hey while in Rome) had to show us how to use the machine.  It was pretty cool.  There were two handheld terminals, kind of like bible sized iPads.  You used an electronic stylus to navigate through the on-screen menus to the song of your choice.  You could search by song or artist.  Once you found the tune you wanted you tapped "reserve" and it scheduled the song in a cue.  Sort of like a high-tech juke box but without the quarters.

Game on!!!

My first song was rough - White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane.  You're thinking WTF?  If you must know, the reason I sang this is because I can't get that song out of my mind since I saw the movie "Sucker Punch" (which is awesome BTW - a visual feast played out in a buffet of metaphors).  The sound track is so great I bought it.  They didn't have the Emiliana Torrini version on the Karaoke menu, unfortunately, so I had to sing it "old school" a la Grace Slick.   It was way too fast (apparently this karaoke joint wants you to hurry up so the next person can have their turn) and I didn't know how to use the mic.  Half the song rolled by before I figured out where I was.

Russell went next.  He sang one of his standbys, "Country Road" by John Denver.  Oh my God!! I could not stop laughing.  He was hilarious.  I thought he was trying to be funny.  He wasn't.  Karaoke rule #1 - no laughing at people.  But why.........it's soooo funny!!!!  We were only into the first song and I was having a great time.  I didn't even need more drinks.

I thought I better get serious and sing something I really know.  So, being a woman, and a beginner, I went directly to my girls: Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carey, Jewel, and Christina Aguilera.   Rule #2 - don't sing depressing or slow ballads.  They bring everyone down, even in a party of two, even if you sing them really well.  I was better than I thought I would be.  Maybe it has something to do with the echo machine.  It makes everyone sound good.

It took me a few songs to get the hang of it.  But after the third or forth song I was there!  Rule #3 - sing a few paces ahead of the words on the screen and do it your way.  Improvise, cause you're never going to sing it as good as the original artist.

I think I came into my own when I found the ABBA medley.  Or was it Def Leppard?  "Do you take sugar!!!!!! One lump or two!"  This is when I discovered it's easier to sing standing up - Rule #4.  Standing allows more oxygen to get into your diaphragm.   Oh yeah, duh.

From then on I owned the mike.   I was all over it.  I was reserving tunes left and right.  Rule #5 - don't hog the mic.  Rule #6 - don't sing over the person who has the mic unless you're invited to.  Rule #7 - don't sing a song someone else just sang even though you know you can sing it better.

When Russell finally wrestled the mic away from me, he rolled into his all time go to song:  "New, York, New York."  I have to say, what he lacks in tone, he makes up in bravado.  He was awesome!  The facial expressions, the body movement, the props, the gestures!  Can I have his autograph!

Rule #8 - order more drinks.  Everyone sounds better when they're drunk.  And, as an added bonus,  they get better looking too.  I get far more attractive and funny when I'm drunk.  Intelligent too.

At this point I was feeling really brave.  I decided to try U2's "It's A Beautiful Day."  Rule #9 - no one can sing U2 well, except U2.  Apparently it's a known fact amongst professional karaoke enthusiasts.  But I had to learn the hard way.

I went back to my first attempt and sang "White Rabbit" again - Dawn style.  Russell was really impressed.  At least that's what he said.  I thought, yep, it's time.  Time for Patsy, as in Cline.  You know what I'm talking about - "Crazy".  "Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely."

WHAT?!!!!! No Patsy Cline - time to go.

We were both losing our voices anyway.   It happens when you sing for two hours straight apparently.
Rule #10 - save your voice because it's pretty easy to lose.  Think what happens after an Ozzy Ozborne concert.  That's right - no voice the next day and you can't find your underwear.  Oh, maybe that's just me.