Tokyo Blond Is Not Porn

Tokyo Blond is not a porn blog, about hair or even, as one pithy friend remarked, a micro beer or late 1980s glam metal band ("Dude, I just saw Skid Row and Tokyo Blond opened and played a killer set").


The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my experiences in Tokyo - poignantly, visually, irreverently - for fun.


Anybody can tag along...that is if I like you. This blog will endeavor to be entertaining and honest and frequent enough to keep those following interested including me.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

This Isn't Tempura; this is Heaven

So it took us four tries to get a reservation at this Tempura place near our apartment.  We were like, this place must be really good if it takes so long to get in.  Just hold on to your chopsticks.....

Originally this place was recommended by the concierge at the Hyatt hotel in Ebisu, which is where we stayed the second time we came to Tokyo.  We didn't get in that time.  The third time we went to Tokyo, right before we moved into our apartment, we literally had to take a picture of the restaurant's sign so we could get the concierge to make us a reservation.  This is the sign. I have no idea what it says.

So we finally walk into this place and realize it only has eight seats. Eight - that's it.  And it looks like a sushi bar and the bar is made of some aromatic wood that smells wonderful.  Usually I want to dance on the bar.  This time I wanted to lay on it and just smell it, maybe roll around on it.

The tempura chef, like a sushi chef stands behind the bar.  Unfortunately you can't really see from this picture but behind the chef was this picture window with illuminated trees.  It looked magical. 
But here's the thing, I know for a fact those trees are actually on a storm drain.  Yet, at night, framed in the picture window, and illuminated - they glow.

We learned right away - there was no menu.  On the bar was this wooden display case and in it were displayed all the food the chef was going to prepare for the eight guests that night.  It was like art.

So for drinks we ordered sake.  But instead of bringing out two glasses and a mini jug.  They presented us with a box filled with an assortment of sake glasses.  I wish we had taken a picture.  Each was unique.  I chose the prettiest glass - an elegant cut crystal, cobalt blue glass.  Russell chose a rustic stone cup with a metallic interior.  

Russell chose wisely.  

After a few pours from the sake pitcher I realized, that somehow,  my glass was always empty first.  I mean yes I'm a drinker but then so is Russell (why do you think I married him).  I pointed out to him I thought my glass was smaller.  He emphatically denied it; said it was an optical illusion.  I bought this for another two pours when I found myself dry, again, and him still sipping merrily.  I told him to pour his glass into mine (which was still half full), and wouldn't you know it - it filled my entire glass up.  Needless to say I had to confiscate his glass.  "Mine" I said.

This was not our first course.  The first course was a teeny tiny little crab the chef let walk along his spoon so we could see how fresh it was before he dredged it and fried it before our eyes.
It was barely a mouthful and outstanding.  This was nothing like tempura in the states.  In the states tempura is a clump of deep fried dough, generally several inches thick which happens to be stuffed with a shriveled piece of shrimp or vegetable, or more times than not, nothing. This was AMAZING!!!! The flavors of the fish and vegetables were intensified by the sheerest, yet crunchiest crust.

I found heaven and it's deep fried.

This is a whole fish which you eat like a potato chip.
But this ain't no Lays brother.

This was an entire crab shell.  The meat had been taken out and mixed with some herbs and then tempura-ed (technical term).  Ambrosia.  

Russell and I were so happy.  The three Asian women, who kept watching our reactions to each course, were happy, and the two completely drunk guys that walked in about five minutes before we left (around 10p) to take the last two seats, well they were really happy.  Russell and I were enthusiastically adding this to our guest repertoire - we're going to take ALL our friends here!!!"

Then we got the bill.  It got very quiet.  Russell looked like he was going to pass out.  I had to give him some of my sake - a sacrifice.

Suddenly we realized we would be the only ones dining here.  

I found heaven and it's expensive.

Monday, July 19, 2010

But the Fish Are Bigger Than Me


During my first trip to Tokyo, beside looking at apartments I did get out once or twice and see other things.  Like the Tsukiji fish market, one of the largest in the world.  It was in walking distance of the Conrad hotel.  And since I was waking up at 4am anyway, I took a look.

Basically the fish market is in a huge warehouse on Tokyo Bay.  It starts out with produce and then gets fishy fast.  The closer you get to the dock the fishier it gets.

Warning: not for the sqeamish or people who don't like fish.

It started out benign enough.  Ok, I can deal with this edamame.

Boxes of fruit - nice.

Wow, this fruit is gorgeous!  They're peaches if you can believe it.

These however, are not peaches.  They're octi

And these are gigantic mussels.  That's a machete knife, not a kitchen knife.

 Live shrimp.  Pretty much everything was still alive.


Well except for these. Gross!  I was literally walking through guts! 
Now I understand why the guidebooks suggest boots!
That fish head, the one in which you see the inner cavity was bigger than a basketball.
Hungry yet?

Eels Good eaten!

These are tuna.  Yeah, like chicken of the sea.  They're larger than me. 
They're auctioned off for over $100k per fish.  No joke.


My favorite part about the fish market, besides the blood and guts, is the men.  No, not like that.  
They have these old, craggy fishermen, in waders and bloodied aprons who use a chain saw to cut the tuna.  And most of them have a lit cigarette dangling out of their mouth.  For all the health precautions this society takes, (masks, airport health offices, etc), I can't believe they allow smoking. 
 I didn't take a picture for obvious reasons.



Japanese Harrods

Later in the week Russell and visited the nearest grocery store.  We like to go this wherever we travel.  It's facinating to see what they sell and how they package it.    These pictures were taken at Mitsukoshi which to me, is like a Japanese version of Harrods - only the best store in the world (so far).

Beside mens and ladies wear, cosmetics and lingerie it had a whole floor of food!  Not just any food
groceries and specialty items like I've never seen before:

Prepackaged fish - what a nice assortment.

Their meat is like art.  Look at the marbling!

I'm beginning to learn that you can buy ANYTHING on a stick in Japan.

Um, yeah, that's a square watermelon on top. It costs over $100.00.

Fried food - but nothing like KFC - light, crispy, light

Various dried fish goods - just what I always wanted!

Gift boxed for your pleasure.

I haven't tried this yet but what up with the gelatin facination?

But wait there's more.

Back to the glorious fruit basket.

Local Japanese Supermarket

And then we went to a very local Japanese supermarket where they spoke no English and only
accept cash.  Most local supermarkets only accept cash.

Yes people that is a rose made out of fat!!! Are you supposed to eat that too?
And do you see how much meat you get for 1,500 yen otherwise known as $18 USD

Not very much.

How nice, you can buy live fish at the local grocery store too!

Random photos of other places we visited that first time in Tokyo.

Sapporo Museum

Beer headquarters & museum

Beer shrine - no Budweiser in sight

Restaurants

Gonpachi - the place where they filmed the crazy 88 fight scene from Kill Bill
And the food is GREAT!
Sake good, very good

Totally weird noodle place with stadium seating.
Oddy but goody. 

Entrance to a fancy French restaurant we went to.

A closer look

The dining room - gorgeous
And the food was as beautiful too!

Parting Shot

Sunday, July 18, 2010

House Hunting - I mean Hovel Hunting


House - I mean Hovel Hunting

So Russell was in Tokyo to attend a global meeting.  I was in Tokyo to find a place to live.  We were in Tokyo for eleven days.  Each morning a driver would pick Russell and his co-workers up and a real estate agent would pick me up.

I worked with two agents.  One recommended by Russell's company and one recommended by one of Russell's associates who lives in Tokyo.  He suggested we work with another company so we could negotiate.  Great recommendation.  He was right.  All in all I must have seen almost thirty apartments.
I won't bore you with all the pictures except of the two apartments we decided to put offers on.  It's a good time from a renters perspective to move to Tokyo right now.  Because of the recession, about 30% of the expat community has left Tokyo leaving several western style apartments vacant and a lot of landlords more agreeable.

So while I was expecting to have to squeeze ourselves into some shoe box apartment, I was pleasantly surprised at what we could afford.  Most of the apartments I looked at, and there were a lot, were dark, old and had no yard for Ranger.  If we didn't have the dog, we'd definitely have opted for one of the high rises with a view of Tokyo.  But I don't feel comfortable taking Ranger up 40 floors in an elevator.  Most of the elevators fit about five Japanese (according to the elevator sign) or loosely translated one and a half fat Americans and no apprehensive 60 pound dog.

Our choices were limited by the weight of our dog.  Most dogs in Tokyo and there are a lot of dogs now,  fit into your purse.  Yeah, those kind of dogs.  The general rule of most high rises that allow dogs is, if you can carry it while you're on the elevator, you can have a dog.  Um, I can't carry Ranger the wonder dog.  However, because there is such a high vacancy rate right now, landlords were making exceptions.  There was one high rise in particular I really loved.  It was brand new and reminded me of the Conrad hotel.  Very new, high tech, high style - sleek black hallways with mood lighting - that kind of thing.  The apartments themselves were state of the art, floor to ceiling windows, hardwood floors, every electronic gadget imaginable and fabulous views.

Most high rises have a fitness room, since this one didn't every renter receives a wii-fit with their apartment.   I was sorely tempted, not because of the wii-fit, but because the building was so horribly hip and situated in Roppongi Hills, which is like Sunset Blvd in LA.  Very cool.  But ultimately I didn't think it would be fair to Ranger or to the neighbors.

At the end of the first week Russell went out with me and the different agents.  There were three neighborhoods I liked:

  • Hiroo/Azabu which has the highest percentage of expats in Tokyo, an international supermarket and a park that actually allows dogs.  Most of the places I looked at had a park nearby but usually they didn't allow dogs
  • Roppongi Hills - The closest thing to Sunset Boulevard in Tokyo.  Lots of new high rise apartments, restaurants, theaters.  Very cool and vibrant.  Or as one expat said, cool at night, passed out drunks in the morning.
  • Denenchofu - The Connecticut of Tokyo, beautiful affluent neighborhood with tree lined streets and almost American size houses with yards.  Mansions by Tokyo standards.  According to Pat Wada, a Japanese American friend of mine, this is where all the Tokyo executives live.  There's also a huge riverside park I could see letting Ranger off the leash at.  But it is on the outskirts of Central Tokyo.
Together we agreed Hiroo/Azabu was the area we liked best.  So we had that going for us.  Unfortunately we we did not agree on the apartment.  The first apartment, and at first my favorite, was a five bedroom, wood paneled apartment with an authentic tea room and a Japanese garden.  It was elegant.  At first I could see us in it.   But then as I thought about it, I realized the majority of the house was really dark because of the wood paneled walls.  I could see myself going postal here. The whole house was carpeted, except for the tea room, with white carpet.   White carpet and dogs do not get along well.  Plus I had the impression the landlord was making an exception for the dog because he was anxious to lease the place.  The backyard, while beautiful, exactly what you would think a Japanese garden would look like, was covered by motion detection cameras that could not be turned off.   We would just have to keep Ranger away from the perimeter.  Uh huh.  Yeah, no.

The apartment I wanted was the last apartment I looked at.  It was perfect.  On the ground floor with an actual yard, not beautifully cultivated Japanese garden easily destroyed by paws.  A yard with 12 foot  walls that he can't jump over, look through or intimidate passersby. The whole building had been completely remodeled two years prior and it had the most modern finishes and appliances.  Sure it was only 1,200 sq feet compared to 2,400 sq feet but it wasn't broken up into tiny rooms like the other.  By Japanese standards it had an open floor plan.  Two bedrooms and three bathrooms and the best part of all it has Toto electronic toilets. They're like bidets with skills.  I'm going to dedicate an entire post to these coveted objects. 

Russell's Choice

 This is the view looking into the dining/living room from the entry way.  It's very elegant. 
Yes, that white carpet is throughout!

 Beautiful Japanese gardens with 24 hour video surveillance, motion activated.
I already have the RSS - Ranger Security System

Authentic tea room.  It actually has a hot plate under the mat you use to heat up the tea water.
Beautiful - not practical.

Kitchen with state of the art appliances - from the 70s.
And yes those are rust colored floors.

Dawn's Choice


Did I mention it has a pond? With turtles - I love turtles!
This is in the entry way.  Our apartment door is right in front of this window

Looking into the entry way from the living/dining room.  
The wine refrigerator did not come with the apartment. That's another post to come.

Ranger's domain
12 foot fences - yeah!

Modern kitchen with self closing doors

Did I mention the toilets?  Do you hear the angels singing too?
Oh you will if you come visit.
The box above the unnecessary toilet paper controls all the wonderful functions the toilet performs
And did I mention I have three of these bad boys? Three!!!!

I did forget to mention the rooftop garden
Just one more reason.....

Both apartments are within one quarter mile of another so they were in the area we preferred.
One of the major draws is this park.  It's gorgeous.  Check it out.


And there are lots of turtles.  Did I mention I love turtles!

This place is supposed to be spectacular in Fall and Spring.

Negotiations Ensued

I worked on convincing Russell why my choice was right, (get used to it) while our agents worked on convincing the landlords our offers were sound.  It was a highly charged process.  Note: the figures negotiated have been changed to "Xs" to protect the guilty.

The Japanese negotiations went something like this:

Agent:  I have an offer from an American couple for your apartment.  
Landlord:  Really, what?
Agent:  They're very ignorant Americans but they think they can have the apartment for X yen.
Landlord:  That's ridiculous.  They are ignorant Americans.  Why would anyone offer X yen for my beautiful apartment.  I say X yen.
(By the way the landlord suggested more yen than the listing price in his counter offer.)
Agent: I know, I know, I keep trying to tell them this.  And they have a dog.  25 kilos.
(Um, he's actually about 30 kilos)
Landlord: No, no, no, their offer is not enough for an apartment as beautiful as mine.  Tell them I already have an offer.  I'll take nothing less than X yen.  (Dramatic pause here then...) What kind of dog is it?
Agent:  It's an Australian Cattle dog.  Here's some information I looked up on the internet.
(In the meantime our agent conveyed the landlord's remarks).
Us:  Ok, tell the landlord to accept the other off than, we're not paying more.
Landlord:  Ok, I'll take their offer but that's it.

This is not a dramatization.  Ultimately our offers on both apartment were accepted, which meant it was now down to the American negotiation:

Me:  I know I told you I liked the first apartment but that was before I realized I would get suicidal if had to be there all the time.  It's too dark.
RW: Yes but it has a real tea room and an authentic japanese garden and it's larger
Me: But my choice is more modern, brighter and has Toto toilets.  In fact three Toto toilets.
RW: So.
Me: Hello?! Have your tried them?
RW: No.
Me: Exactly.
RW: We're not choosing a place for toilets.
Me:  But your place gives me a bad vibe.
RW: What do you mean, bad vibe?
Me: Well, I just think something will happen with Ranger. The landlord seems unforgiving and we would have to walk Ranger through the lobby in front of the 24 hour surveillance cameras and the nosey guard.  White carpets,  motion cameras on the perimeter....
RW: But....
Me: No.

Long story short, I got the apartment I wanted.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My First Time

The Flight Over

I'm sure most of you have flown internationally at some time in your life, hopefully in business class.  Flying to Tokyo on JAL is similar, but different.  The first notable difference is - you can't have an electronic device on in the airplane while you're sitting on the tarmac.  W-h-a-t?  All those last minute farewell texts would have to wait until 12 hours later when you arrive in Tokyo sleep deprived, bloated and ornery.  The second difference, there are two menus: a Western one and a Japanese one.

On the Western one, the usual suspects:  a beef, or fish, chicken or pasta and the usual eccoutrements.
On the Eastern one, the only thing I recognized is - rice.  I go for the Eastern one.  Hey, I'm adventurous and sitting near the lavatory. It's the last Eastern meal available.  I suspect it's the last one available for gaijin (which is a non-polite way of saying foreigner).  Russell is disappointed.  I do my best to share.

At this point the flight attendant has changed into her serving outfit, a feminine apron with whimsical hot air balloons and caricatures of small animals.  Apparently JAL flight attendant uniforms are a hot item on the black market.  I don't even want to think about it.

They give us hot towels to clean our hands before the meal but no napkins. (Get used to it). The rice is really good.  It comes with a seasoning pack.  I can feel myself bloating as I stuff a rice cracker into my mouth.  (Doh! There I go!!!  What movie is that from?) I try every tiny morsel served in the bento box. There are nine compartments and then a main course.  I'm still hungry.  (Get used to it). The good news is you can order soba or udon noodles, basically Cup-O-Noodles, anytime during the flight.  I keep this in mind.

A few things are the same.  The alcohol is free flowing and they have one of those obnoxious video screens that keeps reminding you how far away you still are.  Tokyo is almost 5,500 miles distance from L.A., which roughly translates to a 12 hour flight.  I could fly to Hawaii and back.  Somewhat abstrusely, instead of listing landmarks you would recognize immediately, the map denotes places like Deluth.  I'm sorry, we're not even going near North Dakota.  Even Fargo was listed!

The flight attendants are oppressibly polite. They pay special kindness to the male patrons (get used to it).  The interesting thing about the flight is, it's almost 100% Japanese people (get used to that).  We stand out like Japanese tourists at Disneyland. Oh, the irony.   It seems like every half hour the captain comes on the P.A. system.  The announcements are in English and Japanese and go on forever.  Apparently Japanese airlines has captains who like to hear their own voices right when you're in the most critical part of Sex and the City the movie, just like American Airlines.  Not only does the cabin ressound with the announcement but "PA IN PROGRESS" is helpfully displayed across all the video monitors.  This ends up reading like, "PAIN PROGRESS" around the nine hour mark.

The personal video devices are nice.  I can watch the same movie over and over as many times as I want without Russell having a conniption.  I watch Sex and the City twice just to spite him.   Then we watch Clash of the Titans together, synchronizing the start of our movies and holding hands.

After dinner they dim the cabin lights and soon it's just me and my personal video device.  I love my BOSE noise eliminating headphones that were originally given to Russell by my sister but he never used them so they're MINE now.  He has serious regrets.  I feel like I'm in a dream.  Everything's murky and moving in slow motion and I feel over tired and vaguely drugged.  Could be the wine...nah!

Ten hours later they bring up the lights and the hot towels.  You have your choice of a Japanese or Western breakfast.  Russell goes for the Japanese breakfast.  I have no idea what it is but it looks like cream of wheat but tastes like rice.  I get eggs.

As we make our descent, the bowing begins. (Get used to it).  The flight attendant comes over and personally thanks each and every passenger.  Their bows and expressions of gratitude are especially emphatic to the male patrons.  A vision of an American flight attendant saying, " Ba bye" bubbles up in my mind.

The bows continue as we exit the plane.  Then it's a mad dash to customs.  Apparently these people have done this before.  We're swept along with the crowd.  All politeness is cast aside in order to be first in line.  It's 80/80 in the terminal: 80 degrees and 80 percent humidity.  I can feel the sweat sliding down my back as we wait in line for 30 minutes.  While flop sweating, I notice all the signs.  One sign encourages those travelers who feel ill to visit the wellness office before proceeding through customs.  Hmm. I suspect this is where they decide if you have the bird flu and escort you to quarantine or out back for execution. Finally at the counter they take our picture (OMG seriously?! my face looks like an over-ripe tomato - bloated and red) and take finger prints of both index fingers.  Why both? In case you lose one?  The customs agents are wearing germ masks and have no personality; unlike America where there's always some wise ass making conversation when all you really want to do is find a bathroom.

We graduate to inspection and gather our luggage from the conveyor belt.  While we wait in line I warily eye the animal inspection area.  There's a purse dog in a crate yapping crazily.  This is where I'll be picking Ranger up six months from now.  The moment of truth comes when we get to the front of the line and Russell explains what he's got in the rather large suspicious looking box.  "No, it's not plants or vegetables.  No it's not cigarettes.  It's wine."  The agent looks dubious.  You're allowed to bring in three bottles of wine per person.  We have 12 and consequently pay a heavy levy on the remaining six bottles.
100 yen per bottle - roughly translated this equates to about $1.20.  All rightly then.  Russell feels empowered. "We can bring our whole wine cellar," he says gleefully.  Rut row.

A driver is waiting for us and we begin our two hour trek into the city.  He keeps apologizing, at least that's what it sound like, for the traffic.  Allegedly it usually only takes a little over an hour but it's Sunday and Summer and we have to pass by Tokyo Disneyland so there's a lot of traffic.
Some things are exactly the same.

Dori Story

We're traveling with one of Russell's business associates who is also a friend named Cindy.
She travels all over the world for her job.  She's been to Tokyo several times and it was especially helpful to have her with us on this first foray into Tokyo.  In the cab she relayed this heart warming story about her first experience in Tokyo.

Apparently she arrived the day before a big meeting.  They say you're supposed to stay up till at least 10p the night you arrive to ease your acclimation. Ha! Easier said than done.  Since it was around 4p in the afternoon she decided to go for a walk and get some fresh air.  As she walked out her hotel she looked for a couple of landmarks so she could find her way back.  The street sign on the corner said "Dori".  "Dori, that's not too difficult; I can remember that."  She walked around for about 30 minutes and started to notice that all the street signs said Dori.  Apparently Dori is the Japanese word for street.  It took another 45 minutes to find her way back!!

Wait I Thought Everything Is Small In Tokyo?

Our driver dropped us off at the Conrad hotel.  It's a skyscrapper over looking Tokyo bay.  The hotel doesn't even start until the 37th floor.  It's like the W hotel but on steroids.  It was so high tech and so hip. I felt dumpy just walking through the lobby.  There's a Gorden Ramsey restaurant in the hotel among others.  It was a very impressive introduction to Tokyo.  Especially when I was expecting to be in   a cramped hotel room.


This is not what I expected.  This was our hotel room - just the bedroom part. 


This was the bathroom.  Yeah that's a footed tub without the feet.  A glass wall separates the bathroom from the bedroom area.  An electronic control panel allows you to control the blinds for privacy or full exposure.  So cool!


This was the view from our room overlooking Tokyo bay. I'd say it's looking good so far!