Tokyo Blond Is Not Porn

Tokyo Blond is not a porn blog, about hair or even, as one pithy friend remarked, a micro beer or late 1980s glam metal band ("Dude, I just saw Skid Row and Tokyo Blond opened and played a killer set").

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my experiences in Tokyo - poignantly, visually, irreverently - for fun.

Anybody can tag along...that is if I like you. This blog will endeavor to be entertaining and honest and frequent enough to keep those following interested including me.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Holy Crap!

What is the deal?!!

Every day when I walk to the Starbucks to retrieve my daily ration of lucidity I see someone spitting, peeing or shitting.  I am not kidding.  I am not exaggerating.  I thought the ogling was distracting; this is disgusting!!!

I keep reminding myself China was a third world country as frequently as 40 years ago.  "Third World" meaning lack of Starbucks, shiny automobiles and shopping malls.  Well... all the neon shopping malls and shiny Toyotas in China do not make up for the lack of manners.

The official sound of Beijing is literally somebody expectorating as loudly and violently as possible. If there was an audio description in the dictionary of the average Chinese man on the street, this would be it.  It is sooooo gross.

I mean the children do not wear diapers! They wear split crotch outfits.  Yes, I said split-crotch.  They have no underwear on under their split crotch Baby Gap knock offs.  They are encouraged to stoop down and pee anytime they feel the urge.  Clearly this carries into adult hood as it seems like anytime I turn a corner in Beijing, some grown man is peeing against the wall, albeit standing up.

Invariably every other morning I come around the corner of my apartment building and there's someone being held over the flower bed or trash can pooping.  It's like they're walking their dog but it's an adorable toddler.  What the hell?  At least you carry a doggie doodoo bag when you pick up after your dog.  Well, except not here.

Walking is a very dangerous proposition in Beijing.  If you're not being bounced off the sidewalk by a newly licensed Chinese driver, (sidewalks are merely another travel lane), you're hopscotching over multi-colored phlegm, urine or worse.

Wear close toed shoes!

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