The entryway was small, dark and threatening. We huddled in the black curtained doorway as we waited for Nancy and Brian to show up for our Ninja dinner. That's right - ninja.
We didn't know what to expect. Nancy and Brian had invited us.
When we were all assembled in the tight vestibule the female ninja warrior, aka "hostess", uttered a loud cry in Japanese and another black clad ninja appeared out of nowhere to escort us. He ushered us into an even smaller anti-chamber and explained how he would be our "ninja trainer". "Hmmm," I wondered dubiously looking down at my heels, "I don't think I wore the right shoes." "Is this going to hurt?" I asked. I don't think he understood.
"Ninja Trainer" handing us our coat check number.
Yeah, that's how I always imagined a ninja.
Ninja training consisted of being huddled through one small space into another, all black, all low, head threatening "secret" passageways that lead stealthily into a darkened mini-village. The mini village had shoji screened huts, aka private dining rooms, which glowed from within. He lead us past these over a brook filled with treasure. Suddenly I felt like I was on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Yo ho! Yo ho played relentlessly in my head. Great, now I won't be able to get that song out of my head all night.
Secret passageway with hidden treasure.
Yo ho, yo ho! A ninja's life for me.
After our three minute training we were graduated to our table where our "ninja trainer" handed us off to our "ninja master" aka waiter.
The menu was black, like everything else in the joint. We all pulled out our iPhones to use our flashlight app. Ah modern technology. The ninja scroll menu was extensive and rolled out to includ set menus, as well as, a la carte selections. Since Nancy and Brian had been here before we asked them to order.
The first dish was a creamy foie gras pate with Ninja star crackers.
The sticks are not edible. I asked.
And then there was the Ninja Caesar salad tossed table side by our ninja master.
Don't let that cheese grater fool you.
It's a lethal ninja tool of death.
The salad was followed by king crab on a grapefruit. Our ninja master encouraged Russell to pull the deadly samurai sword from the grapefruit sheath. When Russell's mighty strength did not release the sword from the grapefruit our ninja master uttered a secret incantation that released the sword in a mysterious cloud of smoke, aka dry ice.
The sword in the grapefruit doesn't sound quite
as romantic as the sword in the stone.
But it does taste better.
Let there be smoke.
After the smokin grapefruit, the entertainment began. Entertainment took the form of a ninja master magician. Yaaaay, magician. First he did some ninja slight of hand with the dreaded cup and lemon.
Now you see it.
Now you don't.
You will get a lemon at the Ninja restaurant.
I have to say it was a bit surreal being served and entertained by ninjas. The food was good. It felt like eating in a theme park but without standing in line and the Disney soundtrack.
After the fruit tricks he broke out the cards and really dazzled us. It began the usual way. He told me to pick a card out of the fanned deck in his hand. I did. He told me to write my name on the card. I did. He put it back in the deck. We all nodded knowingly. Uh huh. He shuffled authoritatively and pulled my card back out of the deck with a flourish. Uh huh, seen it a thousand times.
He put the card back in the deck again. But this time he reached into his back pocket, took out his wallet, and pulled out a sealed envelope. He handed it to me and asked me to open it. Inside was my card with my name on it. Ok, that was good.
Not just a ninja. Not just a magician.
But a comic too.
My card and envelope.
Ninja trickery.
We gave him a hearty round of applause and then our entrees appeared, as if by magic. No seriously, what started as an egg on a platter turned into a whole chicken. "Hey, how'd he do that?" "Is it really edible?" It was and it was really good.
I guess the egg does come before the chicken.
Magic chicken.
Japanese wagyu beef always tastes magical.
Smokin sashimi.
Ninja's really like dry ice apparently.
Even though we were full, Nancy and I decided to try a dessert, purely for educational purposes, of course. Most Japanese desserts are light and flavorless, at least to our American palates. The Japanese have more discerning palates and relish desserts that feature contrasting textures and demure sweetness. American's like huge portions and strong flavors, preferably chocolate.
Our dessert arrived flaming, literally. The flames extinguished to reveal a vertical concoction of light, fluffy cake, wrapped around a surprisingly rich chocolate filling, resplendent with chocolate ninja stars. Ok, this will work. Unfortunately our husbands wanted us to share. Typical.
Flaming dessert.
Ok, while it may have been a little cheesy, the food was good and the ninja at a minimum, were entertaining. We should have theme restaurants in America, I mean more than just, Ruby's 50s Hamburger joint and Irish bars.
Funny, management apparently isn't ninja.
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