Tokyo Blond Is Not Porn

Tokyo Blond is not a porn blog, about hair or even, as one pithy friend remarked, a micro beer or late 1980s glam metal band ("Dude, I just saw Skid Row and Tokyo Blond opened and played a killer set").


The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my experiences in Tokyo - poignantly, visually, irreverently - for fun.


Anybody can tag along...that is if I like you. This blog will endeavor to be entertaining and honest and frequent enough to keep those following interested including me.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Fun Raiser and Sexuality Make a Nice Pair

The second umbrella decided to give up last night.  It had been threatening to for a while.  So we had to make do with the only one we have left.  And as I mentioned in a previous post, (Chinatown aka Chowtown) Russell and I are not umbrella compatible.  Thankfully I wore a hat - so that helped.  I was only misted.

Russell has this theory.  He thinks Japanese umbrellas are huge.  I think they're the same size as U.S. umbrellas but the people are just smaller.  He disagrees.  The debate continued all the way until we got to the bar where the aid Japan fundraiser was taking place.  A place called 57/57.   I wonder why not 50/50?

Ironically it was about 50% Japanese and 50% Ex-pats.  And all the same people.   The same people we saw at the FCC dinner and the Asian Tiger cocktail party, with all the same vendors too - real estate agents, brokers, etc, etc.  It reminded me of the little fishes that follow sharks around hoping for the scraps.  Does that mean I'm a shark?  The pungent photographer was there too.   I see that guy everywhere!!!!  I'd say he's stalking me, but he never acknowledges me.

The space was hip.  Crystal curtains and red velvet.  Mod lighting.  Good music - 100% good old American funk.  Nice.  Our 3,000 yen donation, (about $36.00) came with a drink ticket.  We ordered whiskey and sodas, since the wine choices were "red" or "white",  but the drinks were more like sodas with a whiskey IOU.  It still went straight to my head.  The second one, paid for with cash, was a lot stronger.  By the third, I told Russell he'd better feed me soon or he'd be carrying more than the umbrella.

The organizer got up to thank the crowd and remind us why we were drinking there.  He was an energetic caucasian guy who wore a hat like the one I was wearing (a fedora; although mine had sparkles in it - of course) and spoke very fast English and perfect Japanese.  It was amazing how effortlessly he transitioned from one language to the next, even his cadence and articulation changed.   A few of Russell's Japanese co-workers were there.  They said the guy spoke better Japanese than they did.  Impressive.  Unfortunately, he impressed a litttttttle bit too long.  We already made our donations, no need to promulgate on and on. The crowd was growing restless and dry.  I for one needed another.

We met a couple other ex-pats, chatted with our friend Rich, who had invited us, and a few other of Russell's co-workers.  By then my head was light and bobbing.  Feed me.  Russell met the owner and secured us a table at the restaurant on the other side of the crystal curtain just as the entertainment was starting.  The entertainment was a woman wearing plastic sunflowers in her hair performing some kind of erotic trapeze act on a giant hulu hoop swinging from the ceiling.  The restaurant looked like the bar.  None of the waitstaff was Japanese.  Odd.  That might explain why the food was just OK.  

Halfway into our salad two of our friends from the party joined us and the real intrigue began.

Some how we got into a conversation about the Japanese and sex.  I think it began while discussing the Japanese's cultural affinity to taking a mistress.  Much like the French, Japanese men take mistresses.  They call them "girlfriends" and it's a sign of virility and wealth.  The more "girlfriends" you have, the more impressive you are.  I wonder if this applies to "boyfriends".   Hmmmm.  Or maybe it started when we were discussing advertising in Playboy.  It's a great magazine.  I read it for the interviews and I don't mean bunny interviews.  They have good jokes too.  In my opinion joke telling has become a lost art but that's another subject.  In any case I do recall saying I had heard the Japanese were very open about sex.  This statement was met by guffaws of disbelief.  Apparently I had heard wrong.  I explained how one of my friends who had lived in and worked in Tokyo told me she was hit on frequently leading her to believe that Japanese men are very direct and open about sex.  "Was she American, white?" they asked.  I said, "yes".  They said, "well yeah, they'll hit on anyone whose American but that doesn't mean they're open about sex."  I got the impression this is because Japanese men think American girls are easy.

Our friend explained.

According to him, the Japanese are extremely sexually repressed, even their porn magazines only show girls in bathing suits.  But what about anime; aren't they nude?  Both guys rebuked in unison - that's a cartoon.  Oh.  The Japanese sexual psyche is all about fantasy and roll playing.  That must be why all the sexual images here seem to be of girls in Catholic school uniforms.  Yes.  And that's why there are so many theme bars in Tokyo.  Theme bars?  Go on.....  Yes, theme bars.  He gave an example.
They have these bars where the girls wear no underwear.  I'm sorry, what?  Is that a big turn on?  All three men at the table looked at each other but didn't say anything.  They didn't have too.  You know, kind of like that restaurant in Vegas with the wine angels.  You mean, Aureole?  Yes, that's the one.  Except in this version the "angels" don't wear underwear.  As you can imagine the higher they go to retrieve the wine the more "expensive and expansive" the vintage.  Illuminating.  In fact, there's a bar here in Roppongi where the girls don't wear underwear.  I can show you.  No thank you.

There's also S&M and "Issue" bars.  Issue bars? Yes, bars where the women tell you about their issues. Why anybody would want to pay to hear somebody else's issues as a turn on, is beyond me.  I went there.  What were the issues?  She said she was being beaten by her boyfriend and showed me some bruises.  I wondered what kind of make-up she used.  I laughed nervously.  I know some people with issues who could make a lot of money working there.

Tell me more about the S&M bar.  Did you have to dress up to get in? No, but it was intense.  Girls would come up to you and introduce themselves as "S" or "M".  You mean "single" or "married".   Um, no.  They had different rooms where people were having S&M sex.  No way!  Yep.  And in the main bar a girl was chained up and being whipped.  OK.  I can take you; it's right above the Subway.  How nice - have a whip and a foot long.  I have a coupon.

In Kabukicho you can buy a girl from a guy on the street.  He'll even hand you a menu with pictures.  Or you can go to bars where there's a glass wall and behind the glass wall are girls with numbers on them.  You tell your waiter what number you're interested in and he'll make the call and she'll come to your table.  Yes, I'll have the number seven please and a diet coke.

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