I'm sure most of you have flown internationally at some time in your life, hopefully in business class. Flying to Tokyo on JAL is similar, but different. The first notable difference is - you can't have an electronic device on in the airplane while you're sitting on the tarmac. W-h-a-t? All those last minute farewell texts would have to wait until 12 hours later when you arrive in Tokyo sleep deprived, bloated and ornery. The second difference, there are two menus: a Western one and a Japanese one.
On the Western one, the usual suspects: a beef, or fish, chicken or pasta and the usual eccoutrements.
On the Eastern one, the only thing I recognized is - rice. I go for the Eastern one. Hey, I'm adventurous and sitting near the lavatory. It's the last Eastern meal available. I suspect it's the last one available for gaijin (which is a non-polite way of saying foreigner). Russell is disappointed. I do my best to share.
At this point the flight attendant has changed into her serving outfit, a feminine apron with whimsical hot air balloons and caricatures of small animals. Apparently JAL flight attendant uniforms are a hot item on the black market. I don't even want to think about it.
They give us hot towels to clean our hands before the meal but no napkins. (Get used to it). The rice is really good. It comes with a seasoning pack. I can feel myself bloating as I stuff a rice cracker into my mouth. (Doh! There I go!!! What movie is that from?) I try every tiny morsel served in the bento box. There are nine compartments and then a main course. I'm still hungry. (Get used to it). The good news is you can order soba or udon noodles, basically Cup-O-Noodles, anytime during the flight. I keep this in mind.
A few things are the same. The alcohol is free flowing and they have one of those obnoxious video screens that keeps reminding you how far away you still are. Tokyo is almost 5,500 miles distance from L.A., which roughly translates to a 12 hour flight. I could fly to Hawaii and back. Somewhat abstrusely, instead of listing landmarks you would recognize immediately, the map denotes places like Deluth. I'm sorry, we're not even going near North Dakota. Even Fargo was listed!
The flight attendants are oppressibly polite. They pay special kindness to the male patrons (get used to it). The interesting thing about the flight is, it's almost 100% Japanese people (get used to that). We stand out like Japanese tourists at Disneyland. Oh, the irony. It seems like every half hour the captain comes on the P.A. system. The announcements are in English and Japanese and go on forever. Apparently Japanese airlines has captains who like to hear their own voices right when you're in the most critical part of Sex and the City the movie, just like American Airlines. Not only does the cabin ressound with the announcement but "PA IN PROGRESS" is helpfully displayed across all the video monitors. This ends up reading like, "PAIN PROGRESS" around the nine hour mark.
The personal video devices are nice. I can watch the same movie over and over as many times as I want without Russell having a conniption. I watch Sex and the City twice just to spite him. Then we watch Clash of the Titans together, synchronizing the start of our movies and holding hands.
After dinner they dim the cabin lights and soon it's just me and my personal video device. I love my BOSE noise eliminating headphones that were originally given to Russell by my sister but he never used them so they're MINE now. He has serious regrets. I feel like I'm in a dream. Everything's murky and moving in slow motion and I feel over tired and vaguely drugged. Could be the wine...nah!
Ten hours later they bring up the lights and the hot towels. You have your choice of a Japanese or Western breakfast. Russell goes for the Japanese breakfast. I have no idea what it is but it looks like cream of wheat but tastes like rice. I get eggs.
As we make our descent, the bowing begins. (Get used to it). The flight attendant comes over and personally thanks each and every passenger. Their bows and expressions of gratitude are especially emphatic to the male patrons. A vision of an American flight attendant saying, " Ba bye" bubbles up in my mind.
The bows continue as we exit the plane. Then it's a mad dash to customs. Apparently these people have done this before. We're swept along with the crowd. All politeness is cast aside in order to be first in line. It's 80/80 in the terminal: 80 degrees and 80 percent humidity. I can feel the sweat sliding down my back as we wait in line for 30 minutes. While flop sweating, I notice all the signs. One sign encourages those travelers who feel ill to visit the wellness office before proceeding through customs. Hmm. I suspect this is where they decide if you have the bird flu and escort you to quarantine or out back for execution. Finally at the counter they take our picture (OMG seriously?! my face looks like an over-ripe tomato - bloated and red) and take finger prints of both index fingers. Why both? In case you lose one? The customs agents are wearing germ masks and have no personality; unlike America where there's always some wise ass making conversation when all you really want to do is find a bathroom.
We graduate to inspection and gather our luggage from the conveyor belt. While we wait in line I warily eye the animal inspection area. There's a purse dog in a crate yapping crazily. This is where I'll be picking Ranger up six months from now. The moment of truth comes when we get to the front of the line and Russell explains what he's got in the rather large suspicious looking box. "No, it's not plants or vegetables. No it's not cigarettes. It's wine." The agent looks dubious. You're allowed to bring in three bottles of wine per person. We have 12 and consequently pay a heavy levy on the remaining six bottles.
100 yen per bottle - roughly translated this equates to about $1.20. All rightly then. Russell feels empowered. "We can bring our whole wine cellar," he says gleefully. Rut row.
A driver is waiting for us and we begin our two hour trek into the city. He keeps apologizing, at least that's what it sound like, for the traffic. Allegedly it usually only takes a little over an hour but it's Sunday and Summer and we have to pass by Tokyo Disneyland so there's a lot of traffic.
Some things are exactly the same.
Dori Story
We're traveling with one of Russell's business associates who is also a friend named Cindy.
She travels all over the world for her job. She's been to Tokyo several times and it was especially helpful to have her with us on this first foray into Tokyo. In the cab she relayed this heart warming story about her first experience in Tokyo.
Apparently she arrived the day before a big meeting. They say you're supposed to stay up till at least 10p the night you arrive to ease your acclimation. Ha! Easier said than done. Since it was around 4p in the afternoon she decided to go for a walk and get some fresh air. As she walked out her hotel she looked for a couple of landmarks so she could find her way back. The street sign on the corner said "Dori". "Dori, that's not too difficult; I can remember that." She walked around for about 30 minutes and started to notice that all the street signs said Dori. Apparently Dori is the Japanese word for street. It took another 45 minutes to find her way back!!
Wait I Thought Everything Is Small In Tokyo?
Our driver dropped us off at the Conrad hotel. It's a skyscrapper over looking Tokyo bay. The hotel doesn't even start until the 37th floor. It's like the W hotel but on steroids. It was so high tech and so hip. I felt dumpy just walking through the lobby. There's a Gorden Ramsey restaurant in the hotel among others. It was a very impressive introduction to Tokyo. Especially when I was expecting to be in a cramped hotel room.
This is not what I expected. This was our hotel room - just the bedroom part.
This was the bathroom. Yeah that's a footed tub without the feet. A glass wall separates the bathroom from the bedroom area. An electronic control panel allows you to control the blinds for privacy or full exposure. So cool!
This was the view from our room overlooking Tokyo bay. I'd say it's looking good so far!
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